On the JMT to Devils Postpile

August 20, 2011

So far my experience with bears in the last few days has proven to me the Bearikade was a great idea. It fits great sideways in my Osprey Aura 65 and has proven itself to withstand the efforts of two sets of bears.  It also made a great seat while cooking.  I was more thrilled with the can than my pack.  By this point I have discovered the limitations of this light backpack’s shoulder straps and was cursing their stiffness.  Lucky for me I found a pair of brand new thick synthetic backpacking socks in my camp left there by the previous camper.  After short consideration I chose to cut the bottoms off and use the tubes to pad my shoulder straps.  It paid off, my comfort was greatly increased.  Other than that the pack had so far proven itself to be easy to organize and fit my gear perfectly.  I have also discovered I love the Honeyville powdered eggs. 

Due to the mystery illness I have been suffering from for the last two years, I was determined never to get stuck hiking in the heat. If I could avoid this, I could complete the trip without numb feet and dizziness. After a breakfast at 4:30 am of powdered eggs, grits and coffee I hit the trail about 5:15. I already discovered if you want to have some alone time on the trail the best time to hike was early in the AM, most didn’t seem to leave their camps until about 9 or 10. Sometimes adversity turns into a blessing, it forces you to do things differently.

It was on to Devils Postpile to meet up with Irene who was resupplying me and actually going to hike the next leg to Eddison Lake VVR with me as her first backpacking trip.

Coincidence?

Sometimes strange things just happen and you wonder what the meaning is.  After my MRI, the search for the proverbial needle in the haystack lesion, I had treated myself to a cut and color with my hairstylist.  She is personal friend of mine and the wife of a coworker.  The two of us were alone late in her shop which sits on a quiet old fashioned street.  We were chatting away about everything and nothing waiting for my husband to meet me there, when in walked a short dark middle aged Hispanic gentleman wearing a black knit cap, a jacket and sweat pants.  In a jovial voice he announced, “I want you to make me look like George Clooney!”  I just busted up laughing and said something like, “I wanted to look like Sophia Loren, but that aint happening and your shit out of luck.”  He then remarked how he would settle for looking like Johnny Depp as he took his stocking cap off revealing a bald head with a ring of hair around the base.  I just died laughing and told him he needed to accept that Johnny probably wasn’t going to be possible either.  My girlfriend/hairstylist started in on the poor guy too and we were all laughing. 

After a few minutes he glided out of the salon almost as quickly as he entered. After a couple minutes of verbal exchange we both realized neither one of us knew the guy who had walked in and out of the salon so swiftly.  I had thought he was her next client and bantered with him as many of her clients often do to each other.  She had thought all along he was my husband.  It was pretty shocking to each of us to realize neither knew him.  A few minutes later in walks my husband, ironically also wearing a black stocking cap. 

I bring this story up because on today of all days in a split second in walks a seemingly ordinary man who oddly fits right in to the scene and happens to mention two male actors I happen to like, he then splits as fast as he came.  I am left wondering if he was real.  I don’t believe in coincidence. There is no such thing as coincidence.  Life is not that disorganized.  Reincarnation, Karma, God or whatever you want to call it obviates coincidence.  When I think back on all the odd things of my life and those around me, anything I brushed off as coincidence in the past later came back as obvious signs that there is a master plan. I wonder who/what he was and what it means.

Answers

Going for my 5^th MRI, this is old.  I understand that I don’t fit their neat box but a year of testing is insane.  I’ve had Dr.’s tell me I don’t have enough lesions, others tell me the lesions aren’t in the “right” places. I don’t really care; I still feel like crap and want solutions.  A year of battling lightheadedness, tingling, memory issues, wobbly gate, sudden onset extreme pain and itches that feel like something eating me is enough.  I just want answers.  I have never been a medical attention seeker. I am the daughter of a doctor and niece of a doctor and was brought up not to bother them unless dying (just and extreme description but you get the point). If this is Multiple Sclerosis I want to know how to deal with it while on a month long backpack trip on the John Muir Trail. Do meds have to be refrigerated?  Will they keep in summer temps in my pack?  Should I be seeking someone with a medical background to go with me other than my husband who may not be able to do the whole thing since I want to take a month do to it?  If it’s not MS, then what the heck is up?

Changing Trails

Sometimes the wizard doesn’t have any answers.  I’m getting used to this.  And so we order yet another MRI for another part of the body in the hope of finding a needle in the haystack, another lesion; this one possibly residing in my spine.  Apparently if it’s there it will explain my symptoms.  I find myself praying it will show itself so I can move forward. It feels like I’ve been going round and round for the last year on a trail that’s just a loop.  I’m ready to find the fork in the trail.  Sometimes you just have to take another path. Speaking of trails, its supposed to snow at our elevation this weekend.  If I can get my back to feel better a couple hours of cross country skiing would be a great thing.

Long Journey

I’m off to see the Wizard.  Does he have answers to my demyelization and weird symptoms or not is the looming question. I feel like a patient on the FOX program House.  For the last five days I’ve been totally bedridden with severe sudden onset back pain which  I’m praying isn’t the beginning of a new symptom like the sudden onset foot pain and sudden onset hand pain which much like my back came about out of the blue, one second it wasn’t there and the next it was. No injury or event preceding the pain and lasting 5 to 6 months before disappearing almost as suddenly as it came on.  I have adapted to joints which are almost non-functional but I can’t do back pain like this for a half a year or until it decides to go away.  I now have a four hour drive ahead of me to the UCSF Multiple Sclerosis Center in the hopes of getting some answers. I’m ok with whatever this is, I just need to know WHAT it is so I can adapt.